Kenny Rason

Tears

2009-05-16T02:15:00.001-07:00

At the supper table with Alvin, Xueli, Jian han and myself last night, alvin said that I cry at everything - cry when I worship, when I'm touched, when I'm sad etc etc.... its true.

I teared when I saw this clip....

LOL

2009-04-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

I needed a good good good laugh so much! Watched this at alvin's house when i stayed over... i laughed so hard, i rolled on the floor and then crawled out of the room to the balcony so I cant hear that guy say any more 10s....

That is why

2009-03-21T17:50:00.000-07:00

Its a few moments before I report for my last long flight - Athens 7 days. Everyone's asking me why am I quitting especially in this tight economic situation.

"Why not take 2 years unpaid leave?"
"Why not hang on until the situation improves?"
"If you stay a few more years, you'll get your five year gradutity"
"In fact, stay put a few more months and you'll get ur bonus!"

My mind is stubborn because my heart is set. I know exactly what I'm leaving behind - something that the Lord has meant for me for this period of time which is passing; a blessing that the Lord provided for me to pay my school fees; a job that lets me see the world; a job that lets me see more of myself and let go more of myself to Him.

I'm not perfect and I didn't say I'm ready for what is ahead. In fact, I dont think I'm obedient enough, I dont think I've given up enough, I dont think I let go enough. The road ahead of me seems unclear though I know its clear in His eyes.

I stand near the end of the path I've been walking for the past 2 years. It makes the end of a lifestyle I've chosen to step out of and the beginning of a new life in Him. I want to sing: I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back. But i'm afraid to make empty promises to the One I love. It is Him who has taken me into His hand, and it is Him who will keep me safe.

But at the end of the day, I know why - why I have to leave it all behind and take on His plan for my life. This is why.

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
you said he was stronger than all of those guys
addy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide

So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"

"My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"

Live

2009-01-12T07:23:00.000-08:00

Live.

I want to live life like I'm liberated.

Today i was thinking... What does it mean to life the life you want to live? Exactly the way you want it...

Having both the POWER and the OPPORTUNITY to fulfill it?

Wait... does that mean I dont have to be bound by my parents' expectations concerning career, marriage, for some, studies and where to live or migrate or whatever....

And if that means I have the tenacity to overcome all fears in my life... fear of failure, fear of people's expectations, fear of maluuuuuuuuu.... fear of having no friends or loneliness, fear of persecution, fear of people misunderstanding your intentions.

And that means I'm not bound by sexual sins, not bound by childhood hurts, not bound by unforgiveness, not bound by pride, not bound by lethargy or by any other things...

Who will I be? What will I be doing?

--------------------------------------------------

I will be Kenny Rason Tan,

A man favored by God
Driven with a Spirit of excellence, giving my very best in all that I choose to take on
Guided by the Spirit of grace, not judging, not condemning, but making peace and reconciliation
Engulfed by a Spirit of love, that embraces each and everyone, popular or unpopular.
Humbled with a Spirit of servanthood, to esteem others above myself

Yes.
I want to be driven. To be guided. To be engulfed. And to be humbled constantly...

to excel, to be gracious, to love and demonstrate love, and to serve others.

The greatest call of God is not to ministry. It's to obedience.

Break the chains in my life and the bondages which bind me, that I may obey You Lord.

I dont yet understand what it means to be in God's ministry

2008-12-29T00:30:00.000-08:00

I still dont understand what it means to be in God's ministry.

That its not just a task I decided to take on.
Not just a means of taking up my time
Must not be just doing something I enjoy
It cannot be to fulfill my self-ego
Nope, not to feel good about myself
Not cos it might be a good stepping stone
Its main motive cannot be just of learning
The motivation should not be I, me and myself.

And me needs to die. If the seed does not die, it does not live.

Then what is it about? What is God's ministry about?

The 'heavenly man' pastor would say its the essence of his life and if it should, it would lead to his death.
Pastor Rony would say its the story of his life and the legacy after his death.
My Vietnam missionary mentor would say God's ministry is plainly living life cos his life reflects the life of Christ.
Jesus would probably say its His mission and His passion.

What is God's ministry to me? Lord, what is Your ministry to me? What does Your call mean to me?

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<>

For the praises of man
I will never ever stand
For the kingdoms of this world
I'll never give my heart away
Oh shout my praise
My allegiance and devotion
My heart's desire and all emotion
Go to serve the Man Who died upon that tree

Only a God like You Could be worthy of my praise
And all my hope and faith
To only a King of all kings
Do I bow my knee and sing
Give my everything
To only my Maker my Father my Savior, Redeemer, Restorer, Rebuilder, Rewarder
To only a God like You Do I give my praise

Only the God Who left His throne above He came to live with us
Come to be one of us
To only the one
Who stopped to heal that blind man
Took the time to save that one lost lamb
To only the King Who wore that crown of thorns
So I could wear the crown of life
And to only the One Who conquered sin and death
So we could be set free So we could stand here and sing

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At least i know the God I'm serving is worth every bit of my service. Yes He is.

Hide me away

2008-11-28T09:49:00.000-08:00

Hide me away in Your arms, Lord.

Sometimes Kenny just needs to escape, to find refuge under His wings, to find solace in the midst of demands.

I'm not weary. I'm a little lost. Though I've never felt as found in Him as I have ever in my life, but I'm in a world that I'm not used to, a life that thats unfamiliar, landmarks which are unchartered and a work that is fresh and new.

The struggle of leaving your comfort zone is not just the desire to return, but facing the unfamiliarity and loneliness of the new grounds. I understand when they say 'its lonely at the top'. The feeling is like watching a thrilling blockbuster alone and trying to describe it with frens who are fans of romantic movies. I feel constipated sometimes. Or rather, the picture is like having shit in a toilet bowl but just waiting for the water tank to fill up so u can give it a good flush. Ha.... all of us have been in that situation. God's word burns within me.

Who can know my heart? Who can understand it even if I try my every best to explain it? Who can know the struggles I face? Who can know the intense desire burning within me? Who can understand the lost and found feeling within me? Who can understand that someone can feel so full and so hungry at the same time? Only the Lord.

You shall not have any of the share of the spoils, but your inheritance is the Lord. My consolation, my appreciation, my returns will only come from Him. Satisfy me Lord. Satisfy me till I want no more.

Thoughts from a spirit full of scars from wars
---------------------------------------

At the same time,

I thank God for alvin chia at this point of time, whom the Lord has placed in my life at this point of time, who shares the word in me and I appreciate the brotherly love he shows ever so readily.

I thank the friends God's bringing into my life at this point, slow as it might be. I shall be patient.

I thank God for giving me the strength to let go of the past and lay hold of hope. And for His word that says.... AND HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT.

yes it does not.

The more I seek you

2008-11-11T19:06:00.000-08:00

The more I seek you

the more I find you

The more I find you

the more I love you

I wanna sit at your feet

drink from the cup in your hand

Lay back against you and breathe

feel your heart beat

This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand

I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming

It was so beautiful to hear Charlotte sing this - a woman of God with a quiet and gentle spirit. As Shuyi has said - the Lord has trapped us all. And its wonderful.

2008-10-31T05:50:00.000-07:00

ONE YEAR REVIEW!!!

Yes, I've finally been flying for a year now! Actually its one year and one month. Very soon they will be training me in Business Class. Many people been asking me whether I've traveled the whole world already... well i havent. But here are some places I have been to. And I must add...

All these, by the grace of God.

I've sat in the seat of David Beckham in Manchester Old Trafford Stadium

Cheered at the confrontational change of guard parade at the borders of Pakistan and India

Awed by the beauty of the architecture of St. Petersberg in Moscow

Stood at the same platform which St. Paul preached when he was in Athens

Snorkling in the clear waters of Maldives, making friends with sharks, nemos, mantel rays etc.

Having the BEST japanese food prepared by Japanese Chefs in Japan

Feeling small in front of the Buckingham Palace, West Ministerial Abbey and the London Eye.

Feeling child-like doing the rides in Disneyland LA...

Buying faceshop masks and having kimchi in Korea~!

Heavenly eat-till-u-explode tim sum time in Hongkong

Bought my LV wallet and lots of german saugages in Frankfurt

Touching the little mermaids' boobs in Denmark Copenhagen

Shopping and Feasting in the Night Markets in Taipei

Spending a cold cold christmas singing carols in Christchurch Cathedral

Enjoying the breathtaking nature of South Africa

Immersing myself in the Cheena culture at the Great Wall

Sunbathing nude at the nude beach in Perth, Australia

Visiting windmills and the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam

Pet and rode a camel in the desert dunes of Saudi Arabia

Yup... Thats all I've done for now. What I've yet to do - Go up the Effiel tower, Lean over the edge of the Leaning tower of Pisa, explore the pyramids, take the gondolas in Venice, Imagine the gladiators in the Colsseieum (or however its spelt), climb up the statue of liberty... etc etc.

God really granted me the desire of my heart when He gave me this job man....

Love

2008-10-07T10:11:00.001-07:00

The feeling of being loved is like none other.

When the wife knows he's cherished by his husband,
when the younger brother knows he's protected by his kor,
when the boy knows his crush adores him as well...

for me, I feel love strongest examplifed in this...

when a child knows that he's deeply loved by his father
when he knows that his father has a good opinion of him,
thinks highly of him,
knows his faults and weaknesses and favors him regardless.
when the child feels the warm embrace of his father
and the child takes pride in that solid relationship.
when a child laughs and laughs until his belly hurts because his father teases him
he's comfortable to laugh. to dance. to be undignified.... and to be loved.
Favor from the father rains down with each smile and with each tear.
He does not fear his father's touch.
He is not apprehensive when his father draws near
His heart yearns to play ball, to chatter non-stop, to indulge in frivolous activities
as long as its with his dad.
Pride overflows when he boasts of his dad in front of his playground friends
When he's holding his father's hand, he dares to cross roads blindfolded
When he's listening to his father's bedtime stories, he dares to enter the darkness of the night
When he's in the presence of his father, he is able to face the world.

Before you know it, he cant live without knowing that he's loved by his father.

Dedicated to my Abba above. We love because He first loved us.

In me.

2008-10-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

Engie and I havent caught up for a long time... she's in Australia now enjoying herself in the sun. The last time I talked to her, I told her so much things are happening and so much is changing... then she asked: WHAT?!

I didnt know how to answer. Beacause the things that are happening and changing are within me.

Firstly, my identity, security and sense of stability depends on the perception of my God and my perception of my relationship with him. That, depends on my interpretation of what the bible says about it. If the roots of the tree is threatened, the leaves of the trees are shaken and threatens to fall. My roots are finding its grip at the moment...

I felt liberated for a year now. Liberated to love God. The liberation caused me to love God in fact and stop worrying about judgment and owing debts to Him. With this liberation, I found the strength to let go of something I felt I could not before. I felt the choices that I made, I made out of love rather than out of fear - which is a more powerful motivating factor. The liberation sustained me and caused me to labour more intensely. I saw the liberation in my father, the boldness emerging in his faith... its these changes that I both see and experience that I felt I will not and cannot compromise.

But first I must discover within me, what is this liberation that I'm feeling? What is its cause? What was I bound by? What would snuff out the joy and core of this liberation?

I felt liberated and I'm ever so fearful to return to a bondage unto works - because thats where I know I will fail and I will fall. And if I fall, I will fall.

God, speak to me concerning the grace of my Abba.

Love's been following me

2008-10-05T20:47:00.000-07:00

I just heard this old song by Twila Paris, just reminded me that Love's been following me. Sometimes I dont see it, but sometimes I suddenly realise it on hindsight that Love, Grace and Favor has been following closely behind me... always ready to catch me when I fall. I'm blessed.

I know sometimes it's hard to believe it

But Love's been following you

From where I stand I'm able to see it

And Love's been following you

All through the stormy night

Didn't you see the light

Goodness and mercy right there behind you

Love's been following you

Some days your heart just couldn't be colder

But Love's been following you

All you have earned just make you feel older

But Love's been following you

You think that no one cares

Still Love is always there

He would go anywhere just to find you

Love's been following you

Somehow the road just seems to get longer

But Love's been following you

Wait for the One who will make you stronger

'Cause Love's been following you

Wherever you go from here

Run far away from fear

Keep one thing very near and believe it's true

Love's been following you

Maldives

2008-10-03T22:01:00.000-07:00

This is a flight i was hoping for some time. The place i really wanna go to... but the stay is so short.

Usually upon reaching the airport, we would take a coach to the hotel, but this time we took speedboat to an island resort.... wheee.... like sentosa liddat. We stay in little huts like these.

Isnt the weather just perfect? We were sun-baking and snorkling the entire day la... beautiful. White beach btw....

The water is so clear that u can see alot of fishes just standing by the shore. This small shark is apparently a regular visitor with his other frens. This is how clear the water is.

Post more next time ba... these few weeks keep doing turns and turns and turns... damn sianz. oh well, part of the job.

Zion is calling me

2008-09-22T09:46:00.000-07:00

Zion is calling me
To a higher place of praise
To stand upon the mountain
And to magnify His name
To tell all the people
And every nation
That He reigns

Zion is calling me to a higher place of praise...

Jeremiah 20:9
But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,"
His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.

Ahmedabad

2008-09-08T20:41:00.000-07:00

Flying off to India for 6 days.

Somewhere where I can be alone for 4 whole days.

To pray, to ponder, to rest...

To draw and to respond...

To do the one thing that is needful...

To find myself in Him and to find Him in me.

Lions for Lambs

2008-09-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

A quote from Lions from Lambs which stuck in my head:

"The tough thing about adulthood is that it starts even before you know it starts, when you're already a dozen decisions into it... you're on your own, you're your own man."

I'm an adult.

Its only slowly coming to me. Its driving home at a alarmingly slow place. Has this truth hit me yet?

Great wall of Cheeena

2008-08-05T22:06:00.001-07:00

Hey guys/gals... havent been updating for awhile. yawn. I'm in taipei now... or rather ulu taipei - taoyuan shi. Nothing much to do, so staying in the hotel and using the gym and sauna...waiting to fly to LA tonight.

Meanwhile i'll just post up some pics of my last flight to Beijing!!! Summer palace and great wall of cheeena It was such a long climb up to the great wall itself... like thousand over steps... i was doing okie, but 2 of the stewardess nearly died... died of tiredness of climbing and complaining at the same time. Ha... i pushed them on.

No... this is not a stewardess... the standard hasnt really dropped so much as rumoured by the public... -_-" but it is the 1st time i saw a real life donkey. Just looks like a small bodied, big head horse. And he's blocking the road...
Finally i reached...taking a short rest and waiting for the 2 gals to reach... yawn... it was a bloody hot day tho...
Soooooooo proud of myself.... I finally climbed the great wall... oh and its grander than it looks from here.

The two non-exercising stewardesses finally arrived. There's one more thats taking the picture for us... she's fit... she climbed all the way up with me.

Thats cheena for u babes...

Capetown

2008-06-26T06:18:00.000-07:00

CAPETOWN FOR THE 3RD TIME!

Yup... the 1st time i went for the usual tour to see penguins, whales and mountains. 2nd time i went for my sharkcage diving. This time i just spend lots of time with myself jogging around and having wonderful room service breakfast....... yummy. Its oso because its winter down there in Capetown, so lots of fogging and rain...

Alright.... here's my morning schedule... take a look at this:

i run outta my hotel room at the break of dawn ard 7am into the cold winding mountainous roads... the cold air bites when i begin my 1st steps of my hour long jog...

On my left is lion's head mountain and table mountain, on my right the beautiful crashing atlantic ocean.... infested with great white sharks all year round by the way. Oh and sometimes u can spot a whale.

I see my destination right ahead.... wait... thats just half way there... thats clifton beach - my halfway point. I'm supposed to hit this place called camps bay before i can stop. The clouds seem threatening, but lots of joggers are sharing the same fate as me. Oh and its a really dog friendly place...

After 15 mins or so, i finally reached my halfway point. Its still pretty dark. Oh you shld really check out the houses that i run past. almost every other house has a pool and its seriously beautifully designed. Rich bastards. Then again, its super nice jogging along atas houses. God will grant me one of these one day.

I finally hit the glen beach at camps bay le! Friends... if ure thinking of going for a holiday... capetown is the place man... the air ticket by SQ is about.... 1988 actually... siao hor. haha... but then again i wouldnt mind bringing my parents here for a holiday. I think they would sooooo love it.

After a wonderful jog, its time for a warm shower and room service breakfast.... listening to music and reading my bible... yup. its a wonderful morning. i spent 3 of my mornings doing just that. PURE ENJOYMENT.

Kenny out.......... Next stop - Manchester

Kenny in San Francisco!

2008-06-16T06:45:00.000-07:00

I waited so long for this day to go U.S. After flying for the past 8 months, I finally got my 1st US flight to San Francisco via HongKong.... Whooo... Tim Sum one day, Clam chowder and Pancakes the next. I simply love US, just that at night its a little dangerous to go out - keep hearing gunshots and police sirens etc. When I first stepped onto the roads of San Francisco, I kept giggling to myself like a little school girl... haha... My stewardess friends thot I was crazy - I was just being so happy I'm stepping on US soil! Its somewhere I always wanted to go. YES. I'M IN USA TODAY. YAYness....

San Francisco (SFO) is famous for 5 things -

1. Cable Car (We call it 'tram') Under some of these roads they built in metal cables so that the trams can clamp onto them and be pulled along.
So actually the tram itself have no power by itself. Interesting huh...

2. Pier 39 where they take a cruise out to Alcatraz. Its the 3rd most popular tourist attraction in the world, following behind Disneyland in LA.

3. Good shopping

4. Gay capital of US

5. The hilly city roads............... do you see how bloody steep the roads ar? Literally 45 deg!

Remember watching the show - THE ROCK by sean connery and nicholas cage? The maximum security prison where they were held in was the infamous Alcatraz.... its on an island off the coast of SFO. Thats the torture for the prisoners I guess - the so near yet so far thing. From their bunks, they can actually see the festivities by the sea coast across the sea. The clinkings of glasses, music from the live jazz bands, the sight of children's laughter just drive them crazy and the reason for 36 attempted escapes.

I still remember one american family going on the tour - the father was telling the toddler son "If you do naughty things, the police will send you to live here! So u better behave yourself" Haha... Education by fear... I thought that was merely an asian thing. I believe in education through reason, love and good sense. Idealistic huh. Well Alcatraz wasnt.

They have a saying that goes 'Break the rules and you go to prison, break the prison rules and you go to Alcatraz'. Look at the cell you'll understand. Yes the view outside is beautiful but I doubt the inmates got to spend too much time outside.

Today the island is vacated..... then again its only vacated of convicted prisoners but flooded with tourists - the prisoners of profit-driven capitalists and profiteers. Including me!

I spent SO much in San Francisco on shopping that my visa card refused to swipe. Whoops. Well, the shopping part is another huge story for another time. I have too many shopperholic friends who are reading this. Way too hazardous for their well-being if I post any pictures of the boutiques over there.

My virgin experience to US. It was orgasmic.

ooo...

New Life

2008-06-13T01:48:00.000-07:00

New Life for my blog! Brand new blogskin with much more effort to blog about all the interesting things I see overseas... i promise i promise! Starting with this entry about my trip to Moscow! B-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l place full of culture.

Behind me and that other crazy act cute stewardess is St. Peter'sberg Cathedral! Haha... I always see it on tv, now finally I get to see the real thing man! And I totally didnt know its a cathedral. The stuff on top of the onions are crosses actually.

I took a picture inside. The wall is painted with Jesus and the 12 disciples having their last supper. Yup behind this 'successful' young man is my God who is always there for me.

The Army soldiers look soooo cool rite? The ones in blue uniform. Too bad our army is in FUGLY green. Oh they were having a parade that day - labour day. So it was very crowded at the Red Square.

The macdonalds there is supposedly the most expensive in the world. One meal in singapore is about 5 dollars. In london, its 15 dollars. In moscow its 30 sing dollars. Craziness rite?

The russian restaurant and italian restaurant arent too cheap either. I thought everything was super cheap in Moscow. Apparently not... its just the vodka thats bloody cheap here.

You might think this is some real grand ballroom or something but its actually their subway station as in their MRT station. Some of their walls and ceilings are laid with marble and old statues and the most beautiful lighting...

New Blog

2008-06-13T01:39:00.001-07:00

2008-06-06T16:33:00.000-07:00

It's my off and leave period!

I'm going to revamp my blog...........

Stay tuned guys/gals... its going to be much much more exciting (and current) entries from now on.

Whooooooooo.........

Calm in the midst of the storm

2008-05-21T07:45:00.001-07:00

Its been some time since I blogged and some of you might be thinking I've probably flew to many many more interesting countries.... well yes i have... and i'm still enjoying my job so far. Recently been to Moscow, Dubai, Osaka, Frankfurt and some other countries...

My job does come with its perils though.

On my last flight to New Delhi, when the aircraft in mid-air, it went through clear air turbulence. This means that the captain couldnt foresee the aircraft going to go through a rough period.

Out of the blue. Sudden. Without warning.

While we were doing meal service, the aircraft suddenly picked up height causing me to collapse to a squatting position as if i added on 100 pounds, then in a split second the aircraft fell more than 20 storeys, i was thrown from the floor to the ceiling of the aircraft together with bottles of wine, cans of beers, table cloth, trays, glass cups and whatever you can find in the aircraft galley or kitchen. I hit my head on the roof and slammed back down onto the floor as if I was a rubber ball.

It happened so fast everyone was in shock. In just one second, the entire aircraft looked like its been ransacked. Trays and broken glasses were everywhere on the aisle and on passengers' laps. Carts had turned over spilling food all over the floor, mixed in with red wines and other spilled beverages. Thank God there werent any babies in bassinets or else they would have suffered instant death imitating a projectile hitting up into the ceiling.

When I slammed back onto the floor, I landed securely on my feet with a bit more pressure on my right foot, hence suffering a slight sprain. My leading stewardess and I quickly found a seat and strapped in before any more disaster should take place. Thank God nothing as major did. About 6 pax and 5 crew were injuired. One of the crew had a sizeable slash on her thigh till her skirt was soaked with blood. Another had a huge bruise and muscle injury cos she landed on her side.

3 more hours before we reach our destination. After we cleaned up the entire cabin, the aircraft went through another bout of scary turbulence. At least this time we were all strapped in. I was never ever so scared on flight before. But thank God He calmed me down so much so much and I just rested in the knowledge of His love and his banner over me. My leading stewardess, who had been flying for more than 10 yrs actually tot she was going to die.

Anxious pax were asking me how long more before landing... I told one mother and daughter that we should be landing in about 15 minutes time. Right when I said that, the captain made announcement saying that because of a thunderstorm they are unable to land. Several aircrafts have been circling the airport for some time now. He mentioned that we have fuel to sustain for another 2 MORE HOURS! My leading kinda freaked a bit. So did alot of disheartened pax.

Finally after 45mins of shaking and circling, we approached the runaway with much success. Once we touched down, the cabin was just drowning with long awaited cheers and clappings and happy shouts of joy.

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A trip to the hospital and an x-ray showed that i just had a slight sprain on my right foot. Immediately I told God I wanted to be able to at least walk normally once i touch back down into Singapore. As I reached the hotel after the long long night was over, I gave thanks to God and I felt so blessed and so protected thoughout the entire flight. Yes I was bloody scared at certain points, but I felt restful as well. Sounds like a paradox, its hard to explain. In any case, I felt like I was ready to go into God's loving arms anytime. The fear of death had no hold at all over me.

I went to sleep and by the next day, at least 50% of the pain went away. I could walk with a slight limp on my right foot. The bump on my head had went down and there was no pain at all. I went back on the same flight that night enjoying 1st class service though we were supposed to be seated in economy class. My bosses and supervisors served us as if we were actually pax. What a blessing. When I touched down back in Singapore, they wheelchaired us to wherever we needed to go though I could walk already. One of the big shot senior managers also came down to see how we were. Woah.

I'm enjoying my additionally 2 days off before my next flight to Christchurch.

God is good. No matter what bad happens, He will make it good for us. His love never fails.

Taipei holiday

2008-04-15T03:11:00.000-07:00

Alright... i confess! I havent updated my blog for a bloody long time!

I just came back from my holiday in Taipei!!! Yeah babe.... its wonderful there.... lots of eating, lots of shopping, lots of wen chuan. I made plans to go with ziguo and his bunch of friends who eventually tua us one by one... haahaa... Anyway here are some pictures to show for...

This is at yang ming shan.... there's this place there with all the flowers and all... And they serve really nice simple food up there as well. I put my just bought scarf to good use there.

The famous rock that looks like a queen... I travelled by train and bus to see this thing okie! later i had to endure holding my pee for like 2 hrs on a bus ride back.... oh gosh. haha.... Here in this photo u see kenny sporting his new jet black jacket costing only 550NT which is 27 sing. Wheee....

Yu Ren Ma Tou - Fisherman's Harbour... and we're on top of some big bridge that links to it.

Checking into sheraton hotel.... its a wonderful wonderful hotel... and i get crew rates too... which is like 70% discount! whoo hooo... rocks man.

Waiting for the train.... mr ziguo keeps boasting about his fantastic photography skills... yawn... i think its the subject... haha...

Alright... the last of my photos... only post the nice ones on this blog! haha.... oh btw, starbucks got me to do a photo shoot for them in taipei... this is one of the best shots for them. Its displayed outside the starbucks at Ximending.

I'm so action bedek rite?

haha.... cool holidaying... next stop... BKK then PARIS!

Future Plans

2008-03-11T00:58:00.000-07:00

Ok.... Here are some options after next year....

Work opportunities (not in order of preference):

1. Feiyue Family Service Centres
2. Beyond Family Service Centre
3. MCYS
4. CARE Singapore
5. Children Society

Study Opportunities:

1. Counseling & Care Centre
2. ECTC
3. Edith Cowen

And many more... havent go find out more about them yet.... most prob will work 3 years 1st then go for the Masters course based in Singapore ba. That means when I'm 30 lor. Ouch.... But that means i'll get my masters when i'm 32!!! Wooo hooo... Still young.

Life in Abu Dhabi...

2008-03-10T06:48:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in AUH which is short for Abu Dhabi... its something like Dubai except more boring. Temperature here is... aircon - 19-22 deg. I'm here from last thursday to this coming thursday. Yup. That means I have 2 more days of slacking to do.

My targeted routine to do was this -

8am - wake up & go for 1st Run
930am - gym
11am - breakfast in room ( I brought cereal, bread, peanut butter, tuna, maggie mee etc etc)
12nn - sun tan by the pool
130pm - watch movie on laptop
330pm - take a nap
5pm - wake up & go for 2nd Run
630pm - Da bao dinner and eat in room
730pm - Go crew room and go online
9pm - watch TV and more shows till I fall asleep in bed

Cool rite this kinda life? haha.... I managed to do that for the 1st few days ba...

Good thing about this place is.... I get to go running in an aircon environment by the seaside, the popeye's chicken here rocks, the fish briyani and chicken tikka here is fantastic, the gym here is not too bad, I get to sleep anytime I want to and... I dont really need to think about work. Oh and the crew is niceeeeeee....

What I dont really like about this place... not much shopping to do except for the adidas factory outlet thats near the hotel, time difference of 4 hours so when its 8pm here, its already 12mn in singapore and I'm far away from my loved ones. I guess thats it ba.

During my time here I started thinking about what I wanna do after I quit flying.... go into social work? hai... the pay sucks... will i actually and really be able to take it? working a 9-5pm or more job is a big adjustment to make. Next option that just kinda appeals to me is teaching in primary school - well, I do love working with kids that age. Teaching will be able to impact them on an extensive level but not at an intensive level - counselor in a primary school is the other way around. The other option I'm toying with is the youth ministry in Lighthouse evangelism... my ex-church... haha.... well thats something really not easy to make a decision cos i feel its a spiritual one. Oh well... I know its going to be tough for sure.... here it comes man.

oh.... and my airline mutated brain started suggesting to me that I should actually consider getting a Coach or LV wallet.... Hmmm....

Haha.

Oh i'll be headed for NUS open house with Ziguo... He's going there to check out the computing courses and stuff... I'll be there to check out the Social Work open house... and see my fav lecturer Tim Sim... Gosh I miss him man. I hope he brings a snake to the open house again. The last time I didnt see him do this thing.

1/2 year mark

2008-02-27T03:31:00.000-08:00

Its been so quickly that 1/2 a year of flying had gone by... I'm currently in Amsterdam blogging this entry. How has it been for this 1/2 a year? Yes, I must say its been good. I've experienced what is working life... what is autonomy - i wont say independence cos I'm still rather dependent on my parents on alot of things like dinner, a well made bed and clean clothes. 3 months of training and 6 months of flying. I just met my ward leader onboard who just told me that he had just drafted out my confirmation letter... that means that once 18th march comes, i'll be able to clear my probation le.

A quick review of some interesting stuff I've done during this 1/2 a year....

I've been to the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa, play with both the innocent penguins there and drove in a sharkcage with the great whites; I've gotten a good back-stepping massage in Beijing; I've sandboarded in the deserts of Saudi Arabia and had a glimpse of their arabia nights delights with belly dancers and seeshaw smoking; Oh... and I gotten a good tan there as well... and also in the nude beaches in Perth. Yes, thats australia - Perth, Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane. Now lets talk about shopping, I've hit the sales in London and Manchester during the post new year period and my usual fav station Taipei. I've stayed in Corpthorn, Swisshotel, Raddison, Hilton, Sheratons, Protea, Millenium, Intercontinental and many other 5 star hotels. Christmas Eve carols were heard in a Cathedral in Christchurch, New Year was spent on East Coast beach after coming back from having Kim Chee in Seoul, CNY I missed my loved ones so much though I had a great time in Capetown, Valentine's morning was spent with my indian friends to Madras. Ha ha...

Well thats the glamourous rundown... I shall spare all of you of the tough shit I went through onboard. I assure u, its not as easy a job as anyone may seem. Yes, its not rocket science. But handling people from all over the world is not easy... there are those more refined ones who treat u like a lady or a gentleman, the poorer ones who try to get everything they can outta the flight... and finally the singaporeans... who are rich enough but still demand everything they can get outta you.... yes, the proper term is KS.... KIASU.

Alright... I promise the next post will have photos in them!

Love u all.

Kenny

Latest Roster

2008-02-15T23:14:00.000-08:00

Feb

16-17 Hyderbad Turn (India)
19 Saigon Turn (Vietnam)
21 Standby
24 Penang Turn
25-29 Amsterdam

March

03-04 Sydney
06-13 Abu Dhabi.... again.
17-19 Perth
21 Standby
23 Jakarta Turn

Yup... Feel free to ask me out the other days when I'm in Singapore yeah.

Social Work..... Still my PASSION

2008-01-17T10:48:00.001-08:00

Recently I did this flight with a stewardess who was one year my senior in NUS majoring in social work and psychology. We started talking about social work and then she told me that she'll be quitting in a month's time to join NUH as a social worker...

Recently I started reading again. I went to Bras Brasah to pick up some books to read... the main one I started reading was this one - UNICEF: Past and Present. The book is rather dry like a history book going through the struggles and achievements of UNICEF - United Nations Children Fund. Just when I'm penning this blog, I just checked out their employment opportunities....

Recently I had a meeting with a pastor from my ex-church who talked to me about starting up a social branch in that church and asked me if I would be interested. Ha...

Recently I organised a Christmas gathering for my social work honours classmates. Many of them shared their experiences working in a family service centre. I asked them what difference it meant if I joined the profession like 2 years later than the rest.... those in FSC setting says only casework experience lor...

Its hot coals in me.... doing the slow, enduring burn within me.... my passion to do social work. To do a job that is not related to impacting lives is only good for a fleeting moment. I do enjoy the flying, but I've decided this is not where I want to stay for long.

Deadline: Next year August. Once I get my bonus for the year. Applications will go out.

New Roster

2007-12-29T00:25:00.000-08:00

Looks like I'm not going to spend my CNY in Singapore....

January

02 Jakarta Turn
03-07 London
10-12 Brisbane
14-15 Madras Turn
17 HongKong Turn
19 Standby
21 KL Turn
22-26 Manchester
29-31 Perth

Feb

02 Standby
04 Penang Turn
05-09 Capetown

my off days in JAN are....

01, 08, 09, 13, 15, 16, 18, 20, 27, 28,

my off days in FEB are....

01, 03, 09, 10, 11.... etc

2007-12-28T22:37:00.000-08:00

AMSTERDAM

I went for the full day tour when i went to Amsterdam... it took us around amsterdam and rotterdam... and took my 80 sing dollars as well... oh well, i went with another probationary stewardess.... Here are some photos to show....

2007-12-28T22:34:00.000-08:00

The famous wooden shoes that holland makes... the last time i remember seeing these on tv was on some jackie chan show.... in any case, its really uncomfortable. But the farmers wear it to prevent humidity from giving them foot rot lor.... maybe our army guys should wear these...

I ran down from the bus, ran to this spot, took a photo and ran back up. It was drizzling.... and bloody cold.

2007-12-28T22:29:00.000-08:00

The beautiful tulips which Holland is known for.... they were selling Christmas trees as well. The flowers were grown in super large greenhouses like the one in the bottom right. The temperature was around 10 deg.

2007-12-28T22:25:00.000-08:00

Eating in Amsterdam is pretty expensive since everything is in Euros. The Pasta at the top right corner tastes really nice, you cant get that in Singapore. Its Blue Cheese Pasta.... basically the smelliest cheese of all cheeses and they used that to make the pasta sauce... with another coffee and tip, that meal cost me 30 sing... The crepe at the bottom is filled with fresh sweet cherries...

Latest Roster!

2007-12-01T18:05:00.000-08:00

Looks like I'm gonna be spending a Summer Christmas in New Zealand.... well at least it isnt in India or China or doing some turn around flight! Here's my schedule for this month to mid-january... its gonna be a really tight-packed month because of the holiday period - everyone is flying and traveling... so most flights will be full... God help me. Ha....

God's been good to me so far, keeping me positive and going for every flight. On alot of the flights i can experience alot of the favor that He's been granting me. I'm getting less nagging and a little more compliments on the way. Thank God.

DECEMBER
03 Saigon (Vietnam)
05 Penang
06-10 Amsterdam
13-15 Adelaide (Australia)
17-18 Bombay (India)
20 Hongkong
22 Penang
23-26 Christchurch (New Zealand)
29-31 Seoul (Korea)

1,2,4,11,12,16,19,21,27,28 – Off days

JANUARY
02 Jakarta
03-07 London
10-12 Brisbane

1,8,9,13 – Off days

2007-12-01T18:00:00.000-08:00

ABU DHABI

Ok... just to clarify.... the pictures taken are taken on a tour to the desert areas in the outskirts of Abu Dhabi.... I dont actually go and live in the desert. In fact AUH is one of the richest states of the UA. I had a really relaxing time there suntanning, gyming, catching up on lots of sleep and TV and shows on my laptop as well. Here are some pictures of that day tour.

2007-12-01T17:55:00.000-08:00

Sand-boarding on sand dunes out at sunset....... whooo...

We had dinner at a tentage camp out in the desert... kinda like biblical times... did remind me oso of the cartoon Aladdin with the Arabian nights thing

2007-11-07T03:26:00.000-08:00

It been 2 yrs since i been to ubin! When there with marcus and some other friends on an impromptu kinda outing! Was really fun cycling except that it started to rain so heavily that we needed to find shelter every once in a while. Totally wet, totally satisfied. Thank God for such a wonderful day spent exercising.... (I need to improve my fitness le.... i just clocked 12:44 for my 2.4km.... bloody slow poke. Cant even get silver.... i'm going to train le)

2007-11-07T03:20:00.000-08:00

PERTH..... I went to the nude beach in PERTH! Hahaa.... it was an eye-opener.... of cos i went nude too. Strictly no pictures of my sexy bod here of cos. Hahaha.... The beach is BEAAAAUUUTiful.... The water is so clear that when i went into it to my neck level, I could still see my feet. Swanbourne beach. The only drawback is that it the hatching season of the flies.... so there were flies EVERYWHERE and everyone is just busy swatting flies away.

2007-11-07T03:14:00.000-08:00

Day one in CAPETOWN.... the southern most town in South Africa.

See table mountain right behind me? Its flat flat one..... I'm going to the top on the next day.

2007-11-07T03:09:00.000-08:00

The beautiful soft sand and wonderful crashing waves in Capetown.... Oh btw, we spotted at least 6 whales that day in the water.

One guy and four beautiful stewardesses.....

Cruise ship out to SEAL ISLAND...

My ever so charming batch girl Shazy.... I enjoyed myself with her so much on this trip.

2007-11-07T03:05:00.000-08:00

Hello penguins.... wheee..... 1st time i sit next to penguins.... they just stand there... so lazy....

Action sia...

And bible says hope does not disappoint.

2007-11-07T03:02:00.000-08:00

Past my 1st month of flying.... Ready for more.

I'm on top of Table Mountain. Sitting at life's most wonderful edge.

Treading carefully towards the Light of life. Lead me to the Rock of the Ages.

My Schedule

2007-11-03T01:54:00.000-07:00

The numbers indicated are the dates.

November....

Perth - 3 (Sat) to 5 (Mon noon)
KL turn - 7 (Wed)
Manchester - 8 (Thurs) to 12 (Mon morning)
Standby - 15 (Thurs) to 17 (Sat)
Taipei - 19 (Mon) to 20 (Tue)
Abu Dhabi - 22 (Thurs) to 29 (Thurs)

December...

Vietnam turn - 03 (Mon)
Penang turn - 05 (Wed)
Amsterdam - 06 (Thurs) to 10 (Mon morning)
Adelaide - 13 (Thurs) to 15 (Sat)

The rest of the days which are not overseas, I shld be in Singapore and on OFF! =) So feel free to ask me out any of those days if it fits ur schedule. Thanks!

2 Really Tough Flights

2007-10-22T02:51:00.000-07:00

I just did 2 turn arounds.... 2 really tough flights.

1st one was to Colombo (Sri Lanka). Flight time is short. We're lacking 3-4 crew onboard. The load was more than expected. I was working with a stewardess who was highly strung and highly impatient with me.... on top of that kept bitching me around. Ouch. I felt like crap after the flight. But my chief stewardess took the time and effort to talk to me and encourage me after the flight... it made me realise that I needed to be better prepared for each flight.

Then came Bangkok turn. Flight time even shorter. The load was full. I was so much better prepared and so much more confident.... but still gabraaaa quite a bit. Got one stewardess got so frustrated with me, but didnt bitch me.... i could tell that she was to the brim le. After the flight i made the effort to apologise to her that my work is not so good yet and that i understood her frustrations. She was nice to me about it la at least.

Tmr night (Tues) i'm leaving for Capetown. I'll be back on Saturday morning. Please keep me in prayer that everything will go smoothly ya...

It feels so frustrating to be the frustration of others. God help me. You are my righteousness. Because of ur gift of righteousness through faith, I am an heir of the world.

2007-10-14T13:33:00.000-07:00

I'm in LONDON! At Buckingham Palace to be exact.... thats the one just behind me... Nothing absolutely fabulous actually... Maybe its the inside thats super duper....

Princess Diana Memorial..... and me.

If weather not so cold, i oso wear robe like the statue.... but i dont have his 6 pack... sianz...

The change of guard parade happens everyday at 1130am.... band playing, horses trotting, guards shouting, children mimicking and me smiling....

2007-10-14T13:25:00.000-07:00

This is West Minister Abby.... ITS BIG... I wish Singapore churches were all so big and it has stained glass windows which tells stories about Jesus and Moses and all the biblical heroes.... So cool la.

I went with this pretty stewardess who was flying 2nd time to London. The 1st time she just went shopping, didnt go sightsee. So this time we both went together... Thats the thing about London sightseeing stuff... once u seen it once, its enough le la. Haha... Next time I'll just go shopping or watch a play.

2007-10-14T13:16:00.000-07:00

London Eye... which will be 20% smaller than Singapore's one. Haha... yay!

I went on a cruise down river Thames.... past London bridge (top right) which simply looked like crap.... and alighted at tower bridge there (bottom left)

Museum of Natural History... a 20min walk from Corpthorne Hotel... I took a long stroll there the next morning. Dinosaurs Dinosaurs and more dinosaurs.... Hahaa.... Its really quite nice. The building is magnificient.

Where shld i go from here...

2007-10-13T08:50:00.000-07:00

So hows the life up there?

I'm in London now. Chatted with the crew quite a bit about where am I heading and why I got degree with honours yet come and do this job that is meant for anyone with an O level cert.

Well basically, I have a school loan to pay off that is about 20k... the other reason is I like to see what the ATAS life is like... not the snobbish part of it, but u know... being able to be at the buckingham palace to see the change of guard parade, to go jogging in the different parts of aussie, the stroll down the streets of Paris on a lovely cold night and singing songs of praise to my God. Well i did that today actually... i took a walk in the morning to marks and spencer to get my breakfast sandwich.... you get what i mean. Its nice to have money in my pocket to spend and not fret too much about financial commitments at this point of time.

The work onboard is not easy to catch on and there is a whole lot of humble pie to eat... eat and eat... thank God i'm a christian and He preps me emotionally and mentally before each flight. Even though my heart is still with social work, I somehow know that the Lord has a purpose for allowing me and giving me the peace to accept this job. I believe He is preparing me for the working world to come and also for alot of the things which i cannot see at the moment.

To man this maybe foolishness, but I trust in God's wisdom and guidance in this area.

I havent been to church for a long long time le.... I seriously miss Ps Prince messages. Sometimes I will still listen to his messages on MP3 player. I think God is really good for leading me to New Creation Church at this point of time cos He knows I just need the support from the pulpit. I'm starting to take a bit of time out when i'm overseas to study his Word and oso to read thru Ps Prince book.

I'm going to be free this coming monday and tuesday (though nights are quite booked up). Weds and thurs will be in Sydney.

2007-10-09T22:27:00.000-07:00

Guess which country did I just come back from?!

2007-10-09T22:26:00.000-07:00

I'm in JAPAN!!! Whooo hoo.... OSAKA to be exact! Was called up during my standby... whooo.... I was there only 2 days on Sunday and Monday. The flight there was fantastic. Osaka isnt exactly the most beautiful part of japan but I just loooove Japan. I guess its becos I love the movie 'Nobody Knows'. I love the lovely politeness of the service staff at all the shops etc. I didnt have the time to go sight seeing all the castles and all, had a bit of time in the evening to go shopping a bit.... bought the most stuff at the 100yen shop. Japan is quite comparable to Taiwan... in terms of how much i enjoy the place.

I definitely want to go to the hot springs, public baths, get my japanese swimming trunks and sight see more places.... if possible, head for mount fuji as well....

Oh btw... its true that japanese pple arent exactly the best looking pple, but they do dress well.

NEXT STOP.... LONDON! I'll be gone from thurs and back on sunday evening.

What shall i do in London....

Meanwhile here are more pics of JAPAN.... OSAAAAKAAAAA

2007-10-09T22:19:00.000-07:00

Seee..... I took picture with pretty japanese auntie... she so sporting hor.... i asked to take photo with her, she didnt even shy away... she immediately posed for me!

2007-10-09T22:17:00.000-07:00

Whaaaa.... Authentic Japanese food... I had the one on the bottom right hand side... Got soba and got pork chop with egg on top and rice and pickles.... wheee....

2007-10-09T22:15:00.000-07:00

Many many fishie fishie.... i like sashimi! There are thousand and one weird kinds of fishes in the supermarket... some i cant even identify.... Hmmm... who am i kidding... i dont think i can recognise any in the 1st place.... except for salmon (in the cut up form).

2007-10-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

Look at all the different types of kit kat! Got strawberry, cantalope, orange, strawberry, caramel etc flavors!
I just love Japan

Melbourne... My 1st Solo

2007-09-27T05:59:00.000-07:00

I'm in Hotel Rendezvous now... dont really like the hotel much. Yeah this is officially my 1st flight! Whooo... of cos as a new guy on flight, my superior tekan tekan me... haha... its okie la, supposed to learn everything the hard way. Learning to cope under nagging and pressure of time to do things right and fast. Am I going to make this my career? I dont think I will allow myself to... and I dont think God will allow me to... haha.... MAX MAX i will stay in this job is... 5 years. MIN i must stay in this job is for the next 18 months since that is my bond. From OCT's pay onwards i need to use a large part of it to repay my debt le...

The sunday that just passed i went to church (suntec) and discovered that it was mid-autumn service held at indoor stadium! Ahhh... i missed the service totally... This coming sunday i'll heading to beijing and back on tue. Guys and gals, besides posting my pictures on this blog i think i'll also post my schedule (every bi monthly update) so that those friends who want to book me or whom i want to book can know when to. I can imagine for friends who wanna catch up with me, will keep wondering whether I'm in Singapore or in other countries.

I just had my 4 days of leave on sat, sun, mon, tue. Went out with markie, someone from army i caught up with to go blading and swimming on mon and tue. Markie's ard my age, but he looks 15... haha... went out suppering with him and alvin chia on monday nite after alvin's work. It was fantastic cos its usually quite hard to find someone who actually swims laps (he's nyp sch team swimmer) and who blades well too. I have yet to find good friends who love to play pool esp after engie 'quitted' and alvin chia got himself 'charitable work' and kinda lost touch with meiling my ex-pool kaki.... God pls send pool kakis to me!

Oh for those friends who do not yet have my friendster....

its www.friendster.com/kennyrason

I will be updating my pictures of my travels there...and of cos self-obssessed pics of myself.... if u want better quality pictures plssssss get my a nice camera for... Christmas... or any other occasion will do... i'll declare it Kenny day and u can buy it for me ok? hee hee.... my skin sooo bloody thick. Meantime, be satisfied with my hp camera. haha...

2007-09-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

Most of the time I get to stay in 5 or 4 star hotels like this one....this is the best i stayed in so far.

2007-09-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

Taipei.... such a wonderful wonderful place... enjoyed the shopping and i made sure i went to find oyster mee sua and shilin fried chicken cultet. Rocks man.

2007-09-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

Australia has flowers growing by the roadside.... gosh... it sounds damn gay but its so pretty!!! Really made my day

2007-09-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

Australia... A place I've always wanted to go... Photos of Sydney and Adelaide

Flight Steward Kenny

2007-09-20T06:06:00.000-07:00

hey guys, I've been procrastinating blogging for such a long long time! Here are some updates about myself and I promise to blog more from now on!

For the past 3 months plus, I went thru training everyday from 9-5pm basically. During the past month, I finally got to do my training flights to Hongkong, Sydney, Taipei and Adelaide. Because of confidentiality reasons, I wont be mentioning alot of sensitive information such as which airline i'm working for bla bla bla....

Anyway, praise the Lord... I've officially graduated! AND the month of oct i'll be going for 2 long haul flights - London and Capetown (South Africa) which are wonderful places to go. However work onboard is really tough.... well at least for the 1st few months. I trust in Him that His favor will continually be upon me and His grace will see me thru everyday. My 1st official flight will be coming weds to Melbourne, then come back on friday evening.

I still love going to church, in fact just went there with Engie and Joanna. It was such a fantastic sermon that me and engie cried at the end of it. I think i'll try to start attending the young adults cell group soon.

I'm so glad to have caught up with friends like engie, benji, alvin chia... will be catching up with some classmates this coming monday nite! =) pple i really miss so much are hui hui, yanda, alvin tay, melvin, nus classmates like lindy, shuyi, charlotte, keying.... etc etc.

God's been good.

2007-07-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

This is Pastor Joseph Prince. I'm proud to say that he's my senior pastor.

Yes, I've been attending New Creation Church weekly for the past one month I supposed. The message of grace is really transforming me, giving me hope and confidence in every area of my life. Last time used to feel so condemned as a christian all the time; miss sunday service feel condemned, never prep cell material feel condemned, never service at MS feel condemned, use hp in service feel condemned.... haha... Gosh. It feels so good not feeling condemned all the time and be freed to obey the Lord and serve Him.

Up to date, every single service I've been to... I've teared at some point. Because in the services, I'm always reminded of Jesus love and sacrifice for me. And thats how church services shld be - always pointing us to Christ and His finished work. Because the laws of God have already been written in our hearts. Man knows right and wrong. Just that he doesnt know the motivation to do what is right. I know that cos I've done loads and loads of wrong KNOWINGLY. haha...

So anyway, I've just completed the 1st phase of my training! Now moving on to the more tedious stuff. I'm getting closer to my class mates now, its really too bad i dont get to play soccer with them. God reminded me in ytday's service that I shld walk in His favor and not fear - to be the christian example and walk believing that your classmates love u. Haha... Sounds so ego rite? haha... thats called confidence in God's goodness.

I will be flying to HKG on 23Aug, after that will be flights to Sydney and then Seoul. My training will officially end on the 18th Sept.

My passion, my heart is still in social work btw. But I believe this is going to be the place i learn the ways of the world, I learn to humble myself before God and man, I learn to be a light in the midst of darkness. God is preparing me, even tho sometimes i do feel lost.

Graduation

2007-07-11T06:02:00.000-07:00

I've graduated. With loved ones around me. Mommy, Brother, Me and Daddy. haha... I sound like I graduation from kindergarten.

2007-07-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

Alex was so sweet to come down all the way from Bedok Res for my graduation... well it was also his other good friend's graduation too, but the effort was touching! Thank you thank you... i buy u durian next time ok?

Hui hui came down also! With SUNFLOWER! She rocks man. It was really unexpected. She's the most sociable gal that I know that says she's not very sociable. haha... My dearest dearest sister in Christ.

Benji wanted to come down but couldnt cos of work. I understand man! No worries yeah. Jacq sent her congratulations as well but she had to lead her cell. Thanks good faithful cell leader.

Graduation

2007-07-11T05:54:00.002-07:00

Graduation... Its like the end of an era... as Monica ('Friends') would say - hi5 Benji!

I love my ex-classmates. I really love them so much. Not cos they are my friends, but because they are loving, caring, sincere people who care and love everyone around them. They are the ones who will treat the cleaning auntie to lunch, who will help you copy notes if you are sick, go out of the way to give a compliment, contemplate if they have hurt anyone with their words during the day and then make deliberate effort to apologise the next day. Those are my classmates. Loving, caring people I wished I had blessed more, gave more and loved more.

I gave my last effort as the class rep during the graduation. Leading the screaming and standing ovations. Organising the class to take photographs with the lecturers. I relish them moments.

Shrek & Fiona

2007-07-06T04:01:00.000-07:00

A beautiful quote from Shrek,

SHREK: Princess. I... uh... how's it going, first of all? Good? Um... good for me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty, and, well... I don't really like it but I thought you might like it 'coz you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I... uh... ahhh... I'm in trouble.

The nervous stuttering...
the cold palm sweat...
the racing thoughts of embarassing oneself...

your first confession of love.

Always perfect...
always moving...

no matter the delivery.

070707 The day where everyone is rushing to get married and where I'm rushed by everyone to rush with them. (of cos with the fullest support of the government as well). One more urge and I'm about to migrate to the Maldives where I can get married with the sun, the sand and the sea. I hope they have peach cheesecake there... with jelly.

Goodbyes

2007-07-01T06:24:00.000-07:00

Sunday I went back to Speedlight (Lighthouse Evangelism) to bid a formal goodbye to the cell leaders under my charge and transit them over to WX. Had a good lunch with them and then at DL meeting, I bidded farewell to the DLs as well. Julia and Pastor Sam were really sweet, they appreciated me and gave me credit for contributing to Speedlight as a Divisional Leader for these 3 years. Looking back, I've been in Speedlight for the past 12 years le. Wow.... time passes like a breeze.

At the same time, I'm excited to integrate into my new church - New Creation Church. I've been attending the early sunday services for the past few weeks le. Think i'll start going for the young adults ministry this month onwards.

Its a time of letting go and new beginnings.

Hope

2007-06-28T07:04:00.000-07:00

I slowwwwly slowwwly adjusting and opening up to my classmates. Praise the Lord!
They also made me the chairman for the graduation ceremony - the biggest event we have to settle. So I'm praying that, through this role, the Lord will cause His name to be glorified and also that His favor will be on me. I have been claiming this verse

Provb 16:7
"When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him."

I'm so glad I started attending New Creation Church... I'm starting to learn how to claim God's promises for my everyday situations. When I wake up in the morning, I dont feel condemned or sian if i havent done my QT. I just wake up and know God loves me and wants to bless me abundantly so that I can shine for Him. Thats the reason for the picture u see... HOPE! When I first started work on the 1st day, I listened to Pastor Prince message on 'Why u can hope against all hope' - because of God's grace and unyeiding love for me - thats why the number 5.

Recently I've been hanging out with Jacqueline for dinners and sometimes suppers! She's great company cos we're in the same company... erm... haha... not funny... But I'm encouraged by her passion and endurance in her work and for her cell members in church. She doesnt compromise on her integrity even though her workplace culture is rather secular.

I also just met up with Gerard! I'm soooo happy to have met him up! One word just describes him. Love. Within it, is patience, passion and alot of courage. Yo bro, I think it was really courageous for you to have taken on that job. Its going to be a rocky path ahead, but the Lord will lead u to greater heights man. Our outing was joined by Charlotte, the full fledged social worker. (I'm proud of u sis!) and Lindy (the powerful missionary that just came back from China) and Melvin (my most beloved brother).

I've also been hanging out with my ntu fren, alex, some days. He's someone I've got to know recently... generally, he has now become a great motivation to go running since he lives opp bedok res! Thank God! Just passed him all my heroes and prison break shows and got him hooked onto them! Hahaha.... I sabo him. Best word to describe him is sincerity. The way he treats his family and friends is examplary.

I wanna give glory to my heavenly Father for all the friends He has constantly blessed me with and provided for me at the different important times of my life.

Hmmm... I think i must go to these pple and praise them and appreciate them more in real person rather than just on my blog. Right now I'm so bloody broke la... July 21st then i get my 1st pay. Argh!!! Haha... Kenny... No worries, God will supply ok?

The others...

2007-06-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

The other stewards in my class..... This picture describes their brains.
Special emphasis on 'SOCCER' and 'SEX'.

Today there was some free time during class, the 4 of them (only 5 guys in class) spent the 1st hr or so talking about soccer which I just sat and smiled and fell asleep a few times. After that, they talked about the gals the f***ed and where the f***ed them and how many times they F***ed them.....................

GOD HELP ME!!! DELIVER ME!!!

Cause me to be salt and light Lord. Let me not be seduced by the need to belong that I succum to their lewd lewd lewd x 1000000 talk about gals. I know I'm no angel, but there has got to be more in their brains than just SEX and SPORTS. Hai... even the decent looking few talked about the many hotel 81 they been to and the different sex partners they tried. Talk for 10-20 mins still acceptable... they talked about it for 1 and 1/2 hrs.

*drop dead*

7 Principles of Stewardship

2007-06-16T03:23:00.001-07:00

I prayed and asked God for principles that will guide me as I embark on the journey of stewardship. This is what He gave me as I meditated on His word:

1. Be generous to bless those in need. Blessing are meant to be shared. Be generous with praise and rewards, tangible and intangible.

Provb 11:24, 25
One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withhold unduly, but comes to poverty.
A generous man will prosper, he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

Provb 3:27
Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.

2. Be Humble. Refuse to judge and mock. Jesus shows grace to our multitude fo sins, I should show grace and acceptance too.

Provb 3:34
He mocks the proud mockers, but gives grace to the humble.

3. Select wise counsel. Choose your peers and mentors wisely. Guard your ears and heart especially from gossips.

Psalm1:1
Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of the sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.

4. Expect opposition and persecution when you do what is right; but expect salvation and renewed favor in time to come as well.

Jer 38:1-16: Jeremiah was persecuted when he spoke rightly but God sent people to save him and the king himself sent for him to hear what message God has for him.

5. Listen and Obey the voice of the Lord.

Provb 16:1, 7, 9
To man belong plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes reply of the tongue.
When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

Jeremiah 42:1 - 43:7 : Johanan promised to listen and obey whatever the instruction of the Lord when he approached Jeremiah for God's word, but he refused after hearing it. The Lord means business concerning His word.

6. Only speak favorably of those that the Lord has appointed or ordained above you.

Provb 25:11-13, 15
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear. Like coolness of snow at harvest time is a trustworthy messenger to those who send him; he refreshes the spirit of his masters.
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, a gentle tongue can break a bone.

Jeremiah 48:26, 27

Make her drunk, for she has defiled the Lord. Let Moab wallow in her vomit; let her be an object of ridicule. Was not Israel the object of your ridicule? Was she caught among thieves that you shake your head in scorn whenever you speak of her?

7. Remain sober, clear-minded & never forget the faithfulness of the Lord and the call He has for you.

Jeremiah 2:2-3

'... I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert, through a land not sown. Israel was holy to the Lord, the first fruits of his harvest...'

Provb 31: 3-5

Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel - not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.

Amen.

Hope

2007-06-12T03:50:00.000-07:00

My new MP3 Player! Just got it from the creative sale. I went down there some
days back together with Benji to repair my old one - no warranty, so end up have
to pay $215 to repair the headphone jack. So I got this new one instead! At only $179!
Shoik right?

Anna just passed me alot of pastor Prince message CDs... the first one I'm hearing right now is 'Why you can hope against all hope'! It really encouraged me on my way to 1st day of training... that I can be 100% positively confident that all things work together for the good of those who love Him. Good things are in store. Tribulations will come, but God will double the blessings into my life if I remain steadfast.

1st day of training was gooood.... actually, I'm not supposed to blog anything about the company or whatever goes on - its in the legal document that I cant blog about such stuff. So if I do say anything about the training here, it'll just be rather general. Well, I work 5 days a week, 845am to 515pm - such a wonderful timing. Gives me sufficient time to hit the gym. Thank God! =)

What is to come...

2007-06-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

The silent stirring anticipation moments before the sounding of the start of a race - thats how I'm feeling today - just 2 days away from the beginning of my steward training. I felt it in church today, during the worship, during the message, while I'm hanging out at Benji's shop after service.

God is good. He's preparing me. I'm not nervous or anxious. Cool feeling man...

Shawshank Redemption

2007-06-08T04:08:00.000-07:00

I cried at the end of the movie.

Life sentence in prison. Finally out on parole, the person can't adapt to life outside of the prison walls after spending the last 50 years behind them. He hangs himself. That's what one of the actor calls - being institutionalised.

The lead actor was someone who seemed to have a coat of protection from the prison culture and draining effect it has on human hope. The glimmer in his eyes and the sparkle in his spirit persisted after 20 years behind those walls... he knew he was meant for greater things. He knew and he hoped for that better life. A life he deserved to lead... outside of those walls.

Hmmm... I seem to identify as I take a step into stewardship.

God, preserve me that I might not be institutionalised.

He Satisfies...

2007-06-06T03:02:00.000-07:00

This past week has been a week of reflection and contemplation for me as I spent hours at cafes reading His Word and enjoying the soothing silences that a weary mind craves. Thats where the Lord speaks within my spirit to let me know the things He has on His heart for me. He knows me, He knows what I need.

A question is often posed to a person who always seem happy and rara-ing around his friends: 'Is there real joy behind the smiles and laughter or is there sadness and emptiness?' People who know me tend to see me as such a character... joyful and light-hearted.
For me, to the question posed above, yes... and yes again... its real joy. I'm able to delight in the small things of everyday because I am assured He settles the big things. I can laugh without much of a care in the world because He turned my sorrow into joy. I can take life challenges by its horns because I take comfort in the fact that if I fall He will lift me up. Oh of cos that doesnt mean I dont have moments of sadness and moments when I feel crappy - if not I'm not human. Just that I dont feel that emptiness any more.

He satisfies.

To my friends who have yet to know God. There's an inner peace and joy that I experience, indescribeable just as one with sight will never be able to conjure images of color for another born blind.

This song has been ringing in my head all day long...

No one loves me like You
No one loves me the way You do...
No one loves me like You
No one loves me the way... the way that You do...

Air Crew

2007-05-31T11:01:00.000-07:00

Came across this short list of things I might identify with next time as an air crew! So interesting! Haha...

1 You can eat a 4 course meal standing at the kitchen counter
2. You search for a button to flush the toilet
3. You look for the "crew line" at the grocery store
4. You can pack for a 2 week trip to Europe in 1 roll-aboard
5. All of your pens have different hotel names on them
6. You NEVER unpack
7. You can recognize pilots by the backs of their heads-but not by their faces
8. You can tell from 70 yards away if a piece of luggage will fit in the overhead bin
9. You care about the local news in a city three states away
10. You can tie a neck tie 36 ways
11. You know at least 25 uses for air sickness bags-none of which pertain to vomit
12. You understand and actually use the 24-hour clock
13. You own 2 sets of uniforms: fat and thin
14. You don't think in "months"-you think in "bid packs"
15. You always point with two fingers
16. You get a little too excited by certain types of ice
17. You stand at the front door and politely say "Buh-bye, thanks, have a nice day" when someone leaves your home
18. You can make a sentence using all of the following phrases: "At this time, " "For your safety, " "Feel free, " and "As a reminder"
19. You know what's on the cover of the current issues of In Touch, Star, and People magazines 20. You stop and inspect every fire extinguisher you pass, just to make sure the "gauge is in the green"
21. Your thighs are covered in bruises from armrests and elbows
22. You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure out where you are
23. You refer to cities by their airport codes
24. Every time the doorbell rings you look at the ceiling.
25. You actually understand every item on this list
26. You keep searching for the brakes on your shopping-cart, while in the super-market.
27. You ask your visitors whether they want sparkling or still water.

Some of them I dont understand at the moment, but i think I'll understand in time to come.

2007-05-30T20:49:00.000-07:00

Back from HK. Such a wonderful place to visit (Not to stay though). I love the sound of the cantonese language, the dumplings that are full of juicy shrimps, the strong breeze at the mountain tops... This graduation trip is full of paradoxes... its packed but I felt relaxed, enriching experiences and mind-numbing shopping/eating, at times with alot of friends, at other times having that personal space to clear your mind, at times reading the bible alone, at times worshipping with fellow christians. God is so good to me. Oh! They celebrated my bday in HK... and that made me feel so important. (Now I sound like some insecure little school gal). Haha....

2007-05-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

Yup this is me with my honours classmates. They rock to the core man. Ok that statement just made me sound primary schoolish. Oh well. The smallest picture at the bottom was taken at tim sum place. We went there for breakfast. The food is ALWAYS good in HK. No matter roadside stall or restaurant. Absolutely blows your mind.

2007-05-30T20:36:00.000-07:00

The many many beautiful gorgeous gals in my life! Cant help it, my honours class has 25 gals and 5 guys! But I enjoyed all their company so much and I bet they enjoyed mine too... ha. And its always always a privilege to take pictures with beautiful gals.

2007-05-30T20:33:00.000-07:00

Going HK for 7 days was like going for a 7 days fashion show... haha... this is where the himbotic side of me comes to live! Everyday I make sure that I dress nicely and style my hair, match my clothes... etc. There were times I spent in HK walking the streets by myself or with just 2 or 3 friends. It felt really nice. That thing I had in my hands was BBQ golden mushroom wrapped in bacon - oily and yummy to the max.

Renewed, Refreshed, Restored

2007-05-29T10:36:00.000-07:00

The warm dew on the leaf ready to fall.
The rays of the sunrise at the horizon about to break.
The anticipatory seconds before the bell sounds and school children rejoice.

That's exactly how I feel right now.

Graduated. Gotten my last examination results. Grad party over. Grad trip in Hongkong has come to a close. Also, stepping away from the old lifestyle which have taught me much and changed me even more. Saying goodbye to coursemates, lecturers and a life of readings, projects, tests and deadlines. Letting go for church ministry and perhaps more in that area, to take hold of more which the Lord has planned for me.

Entering into a new culture. New people. New harvest field and at the same time, new testing ground. A time of breaking and molding for me. I feel the peace of God to enter stewarding line. At the same time my heart is cautioned that this could bring me to greater heights in Him or could tear me down to sheds. I thank God for the past 2 months for sending people like Shuyi, Charlotte, Hansel and Gerard into my life - who never fail to pray for me, worship with me and encourage me as we talk about the wonderful things God does in our lives. They helped me as I struggled, prayed and fasted for God's direction for my life.

There are certain people I want to thank for being significant in my life these few months:

Shuyi - for your unceasing prayers, simple songs and piercing questions
Charlotte - for your giving spirit and lovingly encouraging words
Hansel - for always leading us in worship and prayer
Gerard - for your companionship and inspirational dedication in loving people
Benji - for always accepting me despite knowing the many sides of me
Tim Sim - for your patient guidance and abundant grace
Jacq - for treasuring this friendship and making a big deal out of missing my bday!
Melvin - for being my spiritual brother, more than anyone else
Lindy - for taking care of me and my spiritual brother. haha...

This new blog signifies a new beginning. The old has gone, the new has come.